The Poor and the Paranoid.

Many years ago I was best man at a friend’s wedding. Thereafter things got difficult for the couple and my friend would come over and unburden himself whilst I filled up on all his indignation. Eventually, much calmer now, he’d leave while I paced and fumed at what I assumed were my own feelings.

After a while he broke off our friendship on account of the ‘negative attitude’ I had towards his missus. Years later we met by chance. In a bid to repair things whilst naming what had happened we found a quiet spot to talk and I made the joke that as best man I had had to carry way more than the ring on the day of the wedding…

He agreed and yes we’re mates again..

The human psyche is like Plasticine. The individual colours can get rolled into each other. People can be made to participate in other’s lives as if they were their own. We have this weird capacity to both disown and re-home difficult aspects of self in order to avoid the dissonance of inner conflicts or the troubles of which real life is made.

In the trade it’s called ‘projective identification’, stuff you’re sold as though it were simply being returned…

If only it were no more than uncomfortable feelings being made homeless. In fact entire sets of attitudes can be made to migrate from one demographic group to another. Sometimes whole continents are needed to shoulder these projections, e.g. the ‘shit-holes of Africa’.

President Obama made a joke recently, asking, ‘Why are the Republicans so angry? They have the Senate, the Supreme court, the Presidency… yet still their angry.. how come?’.

The answer is that if you identify with an ever narrowing band width of piety you have to work all the harder to get ordinary folks to buy your narrative and shovel your shit.

Having foisted their bad conscience on you, Great Power then heaps up all the angry recriminations against bad conscience that you would expect..

which is quite a lot…

given that the bad conscience of White America is rooted in a history of lynching and genocide… The moral tirade bound to follow, once the attribution of all this murder and rape to third parties has safely taken place, is of a proportionate scale…

i.e. off the chart.

This splitting off from everything that contests the utopian dream of Benevolent White Capital, dark shards of the Collective Self which strive for inclusion with all the instincts of roosting rooks, is currently symbolized as the dangerous and contagious Caravan threatening to breach the inadequate defenses of nationalist fragility.

And so the desperate huddled masses, hungry, barefoot and tired, are magically transformed by the toxic alchemy of shadow projection into chunky Isis members, very bad guys, who somehow got lost in Honduras on their way from Saudi Arabia to Syria but not before traipsing through the thirteenth century where they picked up diseases officially declared eradicated by UNESCO.

No doubt they will stop in Sodom and Gomorrah to recruit further leprosy ridden Jihadi bum-boys before assaulting the five times greater force of professional soldiers sent to meet them with their flip flops.

If a private individual suggested to his friendly neighborhood psychiatrist that a force greater than that deployed in Afghanistan should be set in readiness against unarmed refugees still 900 miles away because they somehow threatened his way of life with their hollow frames, he’d have a prescription for Mogodon written out before you could say ‘paranoid delusion.’ Yet somehow this elite white tribe of supremacists hope for their electoral endorsement on the strength of it.

In the process Mr Trump has declared a symbolic equivalence between rocks and rifles in order to circumvent the noisome reality that this shuffling mass of human misery is somehow a worthy adversary and perpetuates the delusion that the caravan is a secret deployment of ninja warriors who can take over the pre-eminent nuclear country in the world with no more than their wily kung fu..

This old testament fantasy might have been better thought through. After all, last time an impoverished peasant went up against a trained warrior five times his size with no more than the pebbles at his feet it ended badly for the pollsters.

 

The Pursuit of Happiness.

There is an old Jewish story about a poor man who complained to his Rabbi that his cottage was so cramped and small he could only take it as a sign of God’s judgement. The Rabbi pondered and then asked, ‘Do you own any animals?’

‘Yes’, said the man, a cow, a goat and some chickens.”

”Take them into the house with you.” The Rabbi’s advice seemed strange but he did as he was told.  So the next time they met the Rabbi asked how things were going. ”Terrible,” he replied, ‘The cow’s tail is in everything, the goat stinks and the chickens crap everywhere! What shall I do?”

The Rabbi strokes his beard, ‘Now, get rid of the cow.’ The man is entirely perplexed and goes home muttering at the Rabbi’s contradictory advice but the next time the Rabbi asks how things are he has perked up a bit,..

‘Well, some improvement, but the goat is eating everything it can and the chickens roost in every available spot. My wife and children are going mad. What shall I do?’

‘Kick the goat out,” replies the Rabbi.

The next time they meet the man seems more relieved but the chickens are dusty and loud….

‘Now put them back in their coop,’ suggests the Rabbi. The following day he rushes over to the Rabbi saying, ‘thank you, thank you, my house feels like a palace, my family are so happy and I’ve never slept so well.., oh joy!”

On the face of it this story is a moral admonishment to be happy with what you have because life can always get worse.

‘I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.’ Helen Keller.

It teaches the importance of gratitude but more to the point it demonstrates that gratitude’s transformation, it’s capacity to suffuse life with meaning and excitement, has little or nothing to do with circumstance.

In everyday life the bad tempered person will find any number of reasons out there in the world to be as grouchy today as he was yesterday. The bountiful personality will find the same number of reasons, from the same data, to have yet another great day.

How you feel about events depends on what shoes you happen to be wearing at the time. Whatever you are unconsciously identified with is going to run your ship and determine how you think and feel regardless of what is going on at the time. We feel gripped from without when we are enslaved from within.

‘The way out is by the door, why do people not use this method?’ Confucius.

People often say of therapy that you can’t change the past, as though it was something fixed in stone. But ‘remembering’ is not as obvious as it looks, largely because children easily abdicate their own point of view to keep in step with others and so remember things from other people’s perspective, like having a single window in a house that doesn’t even belong to you looking out over landscape that looks alien but isn’t…

Recalling life events from your own point of view can be a quest all of its own, let alone from what inner vantage point you might then face the world in the here and now.

The Japanese have a folk tale of a man who comes across three stone cutters. He asks the first what he is doing,..

”Just eating shit’, says the poor man, ‘having to chisel away at this fucking stone all day. It’s humiliating, I might as well be a prisoner doing hard labour.”

He asks the second man what he is doing…

”I’m earning enough to feed my family and clothe my kids. I’m learning skills and working together with this crew of masons.”

He asks the third man what he is doing..

‘I am building a cathedral…’

If you didn’t check in with the other workers you might be tempted to feel sorry for the cruel fate of the first stone cutter, to identify with his feeling of being so constrained and done to…. He doesn’t see that the shittyness of life is something he carries around inside him. He projects it onto whatever the world offers him, devaluing so as not to feel devalued,  identifying with a compensatory function for whom nothing is ever good enough. And so it isn’t. You could crown him king and it would still be shit.

”We do not see things they way they are. We see them the way we are.” Torah

All too often our freedoms are pinned on the outcome of events, what happens on the outside. It’s a version of passively waiting around for someone to rescue you dressed up as virtue. You want the suffering caused-by-the-outside to stop.

I was once involved with an unfeeling woman who ’caused’ me no end of suffering and unrequited love. Then I dreamed that I was trying to explain something so that she would finally-understand-me, when all of a sudden the perspective pulled back so that I was now looking on and could see that I was dressed as Robin from Batman…

I was boy wonder..

rescuing the damsel in distress.

My suffering was not because of anything she had said or done. It was because I was inflated and believed myself capable of saving her from herself, when in fact I was quite out of my depth and had woefully overestimated myself. The dream was chiding me, ‘get out of your super-hero garb and you’ll feel a lot better.’

So I did,

and I did.

”Our suffering is as much created by railing against the circumstances at hand as by those circumstances themselves.’ L. van der Post.

When you find yourself suffering in an apparently needless way it’s difficult to ask the question, ‘what in me feels this way?’ You’re too close to it for perspective. After a while the answer comes out that you’re identified with some corner of the psyche that is not getting it’s way and that the many other mansions of your inner world aren’t getting lived in.

Perhaps it’s easier to ask, in a quieter moment, ‘On what does happiness depend?’  Any concrete answer, much as you might want to nail it down, is identical with suffering. Why? Because it makes aliveness conditional, narrows options, refuses the unscripted and prejudges meaning. It’s the beginning of fending life off rather than adapting and growing.

What this means is that the pursuit of happiness, given the status of constitutional right for many and collectively synonymous with freedom, is at the root of much human misery. It’s not just that your happiness might be at the expense of someone else but that the wish for life to be other than it is actually prescribes joy. It narrows the band width for engagement with life and so has the opposite of its intentions..

This is not to say that you shouldn’t strive for anything. Wanting nice things is not the problem. It’s having to have them and feeling failed if you don’t that will put a crimp in your day.

The Seven Ravens.

Once there was a man who had seven sons though none of them pleased him entirely. His secret frustrated wish was for a daughter.  Eventually a girl was born and there was much celebration though she was so weak that she had to be baptised immediately for the fear she might not live until the priest could be fetched. The father sent one of the lads, he couldn’t recall which, to get water from the well. All the others followed and an argument broke out between them as to who would carry the jug such that it is accidentally broken.

The boys are too afraid to go home.

Their father becomes ever more impatient..

‘They have evidently gone off on some game and forgotten about it,’ he thought, becoming even more agitated. He paced and fretted and muttered. Eventually he lost his rag and let out a great curse,

”Wicked boys! May you all be turned into ravens!” No sooner had the words left his lips when there was a great fluttering up of black wings around him. The boys had returned in just that moment, hunger having driven them home.

This cautionary tale has a great deal hidden in it: not only what happens to neglected sons, but it also details the role that the feminine then plays in redeeming the brothers from the depersonalising and debilitating effects of the Patriarchy.

The Princess is raised without the knowledge of her brothers, a secret kept carefully by her parents. Eventually she overhears some loose conversation between courtiers and the truth comes out. She becomes determined to free her brothers come what may and sets off to find them even though she has no idea where to begin.

She walks to the end of the world.

But cannot find them.

She goes to the boiling sun,

But cannot find them.

She goes to the freezing moon.

But cannot find them.

Eventually she goes to the Stars who comfort her and give her a magical drumstick of chicken which is a key to the Glass Mountain within which the Raven brothers are held.

When she gets there she discovers that the drumstick is lost, so she cuts off one of her fingers and uses that to open the mountain. Inside she is greeted by a dwarf who says that the masters will be home shortly and invites her through to a lavish dining hall with a groaning table and fancy cutlery.

The Princess takes her royal signet ring off and pops it into one of the Ravens glasses before ducking out of sight, uncertain about how she will be received. When the ring is discovered and its meaning discerned, a great shout of joy goes up, ‘Our sister is here to save us!’  When she shows herself the boys are restored to their human form..

and there’s loads of hugging and leaping up and down.

The generally accepted moral of the story, that harsh words should be avoided, misses the psychological significance of this shortest Grimm’s tale. It details an aspect of patriarchal legacy not generally considered…

besides the daughter being raised on a lie..

the sons become a mob.

Part of the problem with belonging to an exclusive club is that its members are generally required to forgo the temperament that might enjoy anything beyond the club, anything that might be a part of a more personal destiny and so despite their privilege so too are they held back in the pell mell of life’s schoolyard, imprisoned in collective identity. Instead of thoughts or feelings he might call his own he has a manifesto. This is fervently trotted out as if it were the beliefs themselves that mattered but you soon find that they are mere soundbites of collective opinion..

Caaaaw!

This kind of authoritarian father winds up cursing all his sons. Not just the one, he forgets which, to whom the task and the responsibility was given. He fails to distinguish between them and thus fails to relate to any of his sons as a person in his own right, regardless of their guilt or innocent. He treats them as members of a flock before cursing them to remain so.

So these sons can never reach maturity. They are trapped in the Glass Mountain, a fancy prison with a dwarf  butler instead of a jailer and every finest thing instead of bread and water but detainees nevertheless. The father’s curse that lies insidiously behind the idealization of their royal blood means his son’s are barred from finding their own way in life and have to remain tied to family expectations even if these are that you fail or that you succeed but only by having to betray the fundamental impulse to your own self discovery.

By contrast, the Princess really knows what she’s about and makes the unpopular decision to take matters into her own hands.

She’s been witness to her father fretting over procedure and decorum, preferring priests to doctors: worried, not that she might die, but that she may do so improperly.. and so she has something concrete to kick against.

She sets off with determination and suffers all kinds of extremes before she is at last assisted by the Stars, the deep archetypal reservoirs of the Psyche which so often nurture and guide when a personal quest is courageously embraced.

The story suggests that the inner feminine plays a much greater part in his passage to manhood than he might be willing to let on. The more popular myth, that valiant George defeats the devouring mother with all kinds of super charged macho warrior items..

is perhaps a later story, since a knight must already have a lady on whose behalf he quests, whose colors he wears, who is curious about the face behind the visor,  who wants to know what he personally thinks and feels, what ground he stands on..

before the slightest prospect of being roasted alive should be even vaguely  entered into..

 

 

Fury.

In ancient Greece, Orestes is driven mad by vengeful Furies, dark Goddesses hell bent on the application of Divine Law.

He has been forced to kill his mother by Apollo, who insists that the murder of her husband Agamemnon, whom she stabbed in the bath for killing their daughter Iphigenia, be avenged.

Yes, its complicated.

Son kills mother, for killing father, for killing daughter…. you can see how this might end. Orestes fulfillment of Apollo’s law is punishable by death..

not very fair, but there’s no reasoning with Furies….

Eventually Athena intervenes, ruling that twelve judges, she amongst them, will determine Orestes’ fate. The judges are evenly decided but because Athena votes for his acquittal, and its her gig, he gets let off without being torn to shreds.

There is a Chinese saying, ‘One bucket of water thrown, travels ten thousand miles.’ It means that intention, the beginning of things, is of supreme importance. Athena’s judgement is based on Orestes’ intention to do the right thing by Apollo which mitigates the actions for which he is then bought to judgement.

In other words guilt and innocence are not to be found in works or actions but in motivations and intentions.

Without Athena, Orestes would be ripped apart by the Furies. At the Gates of Death he would have to betray his own incomprehension of events, accept his guilt despite the impossibility of his situation in order to find something that made sense of final moments, to shrug off his rage and indignation at capricious and contradictory gods.

Ronald Fairbairn’s great contribution to psychology is an understanding of how and why people blame and punish themselves for things that are scarcely their fault. It’s because self blame/punishment beats impotence/despair. If you are guilty you remain a vigorous party to events, even if it’s the last one you get to attend.

So, if you fancy being in charge, all you need is a religion with guilt at it’s core and people will endure anything…

oh wait..

The story of Orestes is important because it begins with his father sacrificing his sister Iphigenia to Artemis in exchange for favorable winds to Troy, and shows what then happens to sons of the Patriarchy once their sisters have been sold out.

They go crazy with inner conflict….

Finished with my woman, ’cause she couldn’t help me
With my mind

People think I’m insane because I am frownin’
All the time

All day long, I think of things, but nothin’ seems
To satisfy

Think I’ll lose my mind if I don’t find something
To pacify.   Black Sabbath. ‘Paranoia.’
.
If you are poised on the edge of the nest, being judged for your works, which can’t be many, rather than the spirit in your heart at the time, it’s difficult to spread your wings. Orestes joins the lost boys who feel they have to kill off their mothers to appease their fathers and so can never be nurtured sufficiently to find strength in their own efforts.
.
Happiness, I cannot feel an’ love, to me
Is so unreal

An’ so, as you hear these words tellin’ you now
Of my state
I tell you to enjoy life, I wish I could
But it’s too late.

Can you help me
Occupy my brain? ibid

Athena might then ask, ‘Who, having killed his mother for killing his father for killing his sister will now kill Orestes?’… cutting through neurotic compulsion to the feeling of loss and emptiness under-pining it.

I need someone to show me the things in life
That I can’t find
I can’t see the things that make true happiness
I must be blind

And so chronic emptiness is papered over by the vague sense of having to pay for some unseen crime. Perhaps, the heinous wish to follow one’s own star,  a sin to be expedited through debilitating drugs and alcohol or having to scrub the pelmets with Jik and a toothbrush at 4am, endless repetition of apparently meaningless tasks until the comparison is finally made to the feeling of being in a chain gang…

which is at least community.

It’s said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions but you have to wonder what kind of axe the Church had to grind…. threatening meek parishioners with eternal damnation like that, simply for having a bright idea that hadn’t been properly thought through… well, it seems a bit harsh.

Until you take up the context…

which is that the big bosses wanted piety to be about works rather than intentions because it meant you could do as you pleased provided it was in God’s name and you still appeared to pay your taxes. From the 5th C onward, the end justifies the means.

The original saying is, ‘Hell is full of good meanings. Heaven is full of good works,’  which reveals the full extent of the ecclesiastical hand in the proverbial glove. The important thing is what is achieved. Your motivations and hence your own personal values are of no consequence to the greater good….  your wish to see what lies beyond the horizon will therefor be traded off for an invitation to regress and indulge all your worst instincts provided you remember your place and tell yourself it’s all for a good cause.

In an interior way it means that compulsive neurosis and addictive predispositions begin with the gagging and sacrifice of the feminine principle, of feeling connected, all of which then manifests like fissures in a glacial psyche; large chunks calve from the Self, dissociated and dangerous.

Which brings us to Kavanaugh and the sacrifice of the feminine soul that has just taken place on Capitol Hill. Iphigenia has been slaughtered like a goat to invoke favorable winds for the sails of flagship Corporate America.

It didn’t work out for Agamemnon. He hadn’t bargained on Clytemnestra’s blade. Like many a malignant narcissist his abrupt fate only intruded after the moment of triumph, once his goal had been achieved, the dust of battle washed away..

and basking in victory…,

his legacy yet to unfold.

Trumpty Dumpty.

Trumpty Dumpty bet on his wall,

Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall,

All of his Base and all Putin’s men,

Couldn’t put Trumpty together again!

Did you ever wonder about the meaning of Humpty Dumpty? A mere cautionary tale for naughty children? I think not…

The nursery rhyme has been associated with Richard 111’s defeat at Bosworth. And with the execution of Charles 1. But the best candidate for any historical origin has to be Charles the V1 of France whose love/hate relationship with his brother Louis resulted in strange behaviour for the normally outdoorsy king. After a number of setbacks he retired to a gloomy room where he remained immobile for hours under the delusional conviction that he was made of glass and might break if moved about….

The glass delusion then became rather fashionable and for the next two hundred years it slowly gained popularity, becoming more and more common until the 1600s,

”when it turned into a genuine cultural phenomenon.”E. Inglis-Arkell.

Can there really be fads in madness? Was the glass delusion a way of faithful if misguided subjects identifying with their leader to the point of sharing his affliction? Or were both king and commoner suffering from some dark zeitgeist of the times?

The glass delusion is much less popular than it was. I have only come across a single instance in thirty years of practice, a man who could not look at me for fear of his malady’s contagion and kept his gaze safely fixed upon the wall for as long as he had to share space with anyone getting so dangerously close..

But even though modernity may not be able to boast of the auntie in the attic who cannot be moved for fear of terminal splintering, you still find more people seeking therapeutic help than you might think whose experience harks back to the fragile vulnerability of Charles V1, who fear being ‘seen through’ and shattered as a result, who feel unable to act for fear of breaking their shell thin self construct.

Without the specific delusion of being actually made of glass, a person is no longer schizophrenic but might still be dissociated to the point of warranting a diagnosis of Multiple Personality Disorder or Schizo-affective Disorder, both of which are rather confusing terms because what the MPD really needs is loads more different aspects of himself and for them to hang out together, instead of being bounced between one limiting corner of his psyche at a time, wherein he can only have restricted engagement with self and others.

It’s like having most of the village chased off into the jungle and those that remain alternately claiming to be the sole survivor.

Like wise the term ‘schizo-affective’ might lead you to assume loads of emoting but actually denotes the fragility of a very narrow feeling range, like trying to play the piano with most of the keys out of action which means banging out a few chords over and over to make up for loss of nuance and variation….

In modern literature Lewis Carroll’s looking glass fantasy features Humpty…

” as a rather uppity egg who uses words however he wishes to, without worrying that nobody else will understand him. ” Interesting literature.

which is just what dissociation does. Truth is not truth.

  “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”
    “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
    “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master—that’s all.” Alice through the Looking Glass.

It looks as though Humpty is all about power but actually it’s about making sure he doesn’t break into a thousand pieces. In order to do that, the meaning of everything becomes negotiable in the effort to stave off experience that threatens Humpty’s precarious perch.

“I know words, I have the best words. I have the best, but there is no better word than stupid.” Donald J Trump.

An egg can symbolize the wholeness of inner unity, but it also represents having all your eggs in one basket, that being-on-the-edge-of-disaster and flying by the seat of your pants which constitutes having just a very few timeworn if familiar faces to show an infinitely more complex and demanding world.

Such restricted perspectives are invariably the fate of Kings, Princes and Special Children who have their hands on the nation’s tiller or feel they ought to because they are compelled to identify with archetypal energies that exclude the Principle of Relatedness. King Ludwig of Bavaria referred to his mother as ‘the widow of my late predecessor’. And that was when he was in a good mood. Otherwise she was referred to as, ‘the Colonel of the 3rd Artillery Regiment.’

If mother is a regiment what does that make baby?

If women have to identify with their masculinity to keep abreast of men then their mothering function will collectively suffer. The mother/infant bond will be invariably undermined where the divine feminine has been driven out or degraded. Mother’s anxiety at being so under-represented has to be parceled off and lived out by the child instead, who must now forgo her own feelings about what is happening into the bargain.

Under such circumstances what is baby to do?

The horror of what is unfolding has to be projected. Mother cannot be the recipient because it is from her that this toxic dilemma has come. So the child hives off the trauma into the future where it can be kept at arms length. True, the child is left with any number of shattering fears about what the future holds, but at least ‘now’ is safe.

”Catastrophic expectation is a memory.” D. Winnicott.

The glass delusion’s fears of being broken can still be warded off with magical protective clothing or by staying super still, or having expensive lawyers, giving the idea that the prospect of shattering can be omnipotently avoided when in fact it has already occurred.

Unfortunately, the Humpty gambit has small print. You may not have to experience your fragility till tomorrow but the bow wave of it will produce paranoia today. Paranoia is the implicit recognition that the resources you have to manage current situations are somehow incomplete and that you can not function optimally in your environment. So it seems as if the world is full of frustrating forces trying to drag you down with only a brittle shell to prevent you getting scrambled.

If such dilemmas remained the preserve of weird historical figures it would not be so scary. The story of Charles V1 and his long legacy of fellow glass citizens suggests that such things not only tumble through generations. They are contagious and  infect entire populations.

From the recent best seller, ‘The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump,”…

”His madness is catching, too. From the trauma people have experienced under the Trump administration to the cult-like characteristics of his followers, he has created unprecedented mental health consequences across our nation and beyond. It’s not all in our heads. It’s in his…” Bandy Lee

Yes, and….

when the fall finally happens, dancing till dawn in the streets will need to be leavened with the sobering thought that Trump is more than a man who thought he was above the law. He symbolizes the entitlement, the belligerence and the dissocciated fragility of Western superiority itself. After he is gone, we will still have to address the narcissistic shadow of the culture that spawned him within the inner recesses of our own souls.

Me and Not-me.

What it means to listen to yourself is not all that obvious.

Sometimes it means taking your vulnerability seriously, the needs of an alienated soul, the cry of an inner child. Sometimes it’s just the opposite, inner encouragement to seize the moment, to be bold or brazen.

People say that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. Quite the opposite is true. Having an internal dialogue, being able to consider and reflect, to weigh an argument, to look at life from different points of view, all this is actually a sign of maturity. The first sign of madness is not listening to the little chat you’re having with yourself at the time.

because its bound to be important.

Sometimes slips of the tongue, moments of renegade clarity, compel truths to be blurted out loud that would not be otherwise heard. Sometimes what needs to be heard has to become concretised in a neurosis to get attention. Further deafness to the Psyche then defers what needs to be heard to the Body, which has further interesting ways of making us listen, replete with poetic symptoms and curious illnesses.

And then there are the whispers to be heard from beyond the halls of all our personal stuff, sublime moments when the veil is lifted a little, when worlds may not so much line up as collide, leaving you to make meaning in their wake.

I was once playing cards when I was a youngster. Just for fun I cut the deck and showed my mates the face card without looking at it myself. ‘Two of Diamonds,’ I announced. They all fell about because it was.

I played a lot of cards over the next forty years and could never pass up the opportunity to try and find the Two of Diamonds again, perhaps reasoning that the odds would eventually be on my side. Mates would groan at my tiresome and eternally failed showmanship.

For fuck sake get on with the game.

I began to feel resentful towards the now elusive Two of Diamonds. The honeymoon period was definitely over. It was like having your access pass to life’s magic revoked or being given the cold shoulder by a moody muse.

By mid-life I was ready for a separation from this ever with-holding Harpie though I stood her for another decade before deciding it was all over. I was going to transfer my affections to the three of Spades. So, I cut the deck and for the first time in forty years turned up..

the Two of Diamonds.

‘Those who have the ears to hear, let them hear!’ Apocryphal book of Thomas.

If you could pack such events into a dream, what would they mean? What would the Universe be trying to tell you?

It may well be that…

‘synchronicity is an ever present reality for those who have the eyes to see it.” CG Jung

but it still begs the question, ‘what does it mean?’

besides the fact that the Unconscious does like to have a laugh and yank your chain at every opportunity…

One of the things I used to tell myself when I was young was that I would grow old gracefully, that I would relinquish my youth without a fuss. I lied. It’s human nature to want to stay immersed in coral pools of magical omnipotence. Unfortunately, its also in the way of tides to ebb. Individuation demands of us that we separate ourselves from the collective soup with all its delicious croutons if we are to make a fist of becoming.

though it may feel like abandonment.

When the feelings of being bereft reach a certain pitch, the Universe has a way of placing some context on the situation, like a comforting Momma who can even make a grazed knee or a bee sting seem better just by giving it a little attention.

Generally we humans suffer the worst when we experience ourselves as  being separate from the Universe or think of it as simply inert matter. As though we were the only life in the equation or somehow stopped at our skin. Synchronicities occur to divest us of this illusion. The continuity of Self and Other is momentarily laid bare. What we encounter out in the world is sometimes ourselves. And it can happen without consultation or consent..

If the Two of Diamonds could speak what would it say..?

‘The Mystery cannot be forced. She will not be ambushed or put on show. The power does not belong to you.

A worthy servant does not make a fair master. Find comfort in how little you know….Wouldn’t it be infinitely more terrible if you lived in anguish whilst in possession of all the facts.’ The Two of Diamonds.

 

The Marsh King.

The King of Egypt lies dying. His daughter, the Princess Jasmina, is desperate to find a cure for her beloved father. She has swan suits made to fly across the Great Sea with her two step sisters to the faraway North, to the land of the Marsh King where a sacred healing flower grows…

Once they arrive, Jasmina’s stepsisters betray her and steal back to Egypt with her swan suit leaving her to be swallowed up by the Marsh King, events carefully noted by the Marsh’s resident Stork, who has an innate sense of knowing right from wrong and decides to use his migration South as an excuse to follow the step sisters to Egypt. Just to see what they were up to.

Back in Africa, the step-sisters tell the Egyptian court that Princess Jasmina was shot by a hunter and killed. They claim her swan suit was all they could save, followed by an elaborate story as to the vengeance they supposedly extracted from said hunter and how they burned him in his shack in the woods….

Papa-Stork listened, incredulous at the barefaced lies being told. His earlier whim to simply keep an eye on things now forged into determined resolve, a sudden feeling that his honor is at stake.

Papa-Stork heists the step-sisters’ swan suits. Every year thereafter he managed to carry the heavy suits some part way of the migratory route back to the Viking Marsh thinking that the Princess might need them if he ever found her. Year after year he faithfully criss-crossed the Marsh during the summer months looking for any sign of Jasmina. His wife berated him for ignoring his chores and taking so much time away from family life but Papa-Stork endured, fired by the injustices perpetrated against the noble Princess.

One day, as Stork-Papa kept his winged vigil, he saw a green stalk shoot up from the slimy depths, a leaf unfurled and from that a bud in which there lay asleep a beautiful  little girl, daughter of Princess Jasmina and the Marsh King. Stork-Papa takes her to a Viking Mother (from whence come our tales of storks delivering babies) who is delighted, though slightly perplexed, since her beautiful but tempestuous child turns into a frog as soon as the sun is set….

It seems that a curse had been placed upon the child, Helga. She looks like her mother Jasmina, yet has her father’s temper by day. At night she has her father’s looks but her mother’s kindly disposition, croaking mournfully.

Helga’s split nature is healed by her concern for a christian priest enslaved by the Vikings. She frees him from captivity though he is killed as they make their escape. She mourns him all night, hidden in a tree. In the early dawn she digs his grave. When she speaks sacred words and makes a holy sign over him, her frog skin falls from her. Her grief for the young man is so great that his spirit appears and magically returns her to the Marsh from which she first emerged, where her mother Jasmina and Stork-Papa are waiting..

The two swan suits fit mother and daughter perfectly and so at long last they fly back to Egypt. Helga herself is the healing flower needed and her grandfather the King returns to full health as soon as she embraces him.

And so they all lived happily ever after. Except the step-sisters who were indicted for corruption, lying to the government, criminal conspiracy, money laundering and sent to the pen for a long stretch….

What does it mean psychologically to marry the Marsh King? Why is it that Helga’s grief is the key to her becoming whole?

Being swallowed up by the Marsh King is an involuntary descent into the Unconscious. It’s what happens when we are consumed by the rage, grief and abandonment exemplified by the step-sisters’ betrayal. It’s what happens when you are overtaken by circumstances way out of your control that still demand a response, some relationship with them so that consciousness can come from experience.

This is represented by the eventual birth of Helga who, despite feeling cursed, still manages to contain the opposites in herself and finally manages to mourn the death of the christian priest in a directly feeling way, honoring him with sacred gestures. This is the Principle of Relatedness in action. She is made whole by being letting herself need and grieve, by use of ritual gesture and the holy names reserved for things of ultimate value.

“Without an understanding of myth or religion, without an understanding of the relationship between destruction and creation, death and rebirth, the individual suffers the mysteries of life as meaningless mayhem alone.” – Marion Woodman 1985 The Pregnant Virgin.

Sometimes life presents you with moments when you are helpless to influence events and all you can do is sink down into your own boggy depression, saturated and stagnant, when you come to the limits of heroic action and just surrender to deeper processes that may feel like they’re sucking you down at the time but somehow, after much patient vigil, also give birth to new consciousness.

Stork-Papa’s devotion to Princess Jasmina is forged in the crucible of the stepsister’s betrayal. It is a good example of what ethologist Robert Ardrey calls the Amity/Enmity complex, coined out of speculation as to how a strong and apparently dominant species of our ancient ancestor Australopithicus, ‘East Rudolf Man’, failed to prevail over physically smaller representatives of the species with equally smaller brains that evolution would suggest be left behind.

The smaller Australopithicines seem to have banded together as never before, as a direct result of the threat of East Rudolph Man, evolving gesture, language, and kinship bonds that more than made up for any apparent shortcomings..

”the greater the pressure of inimical force against a group, the greater the amity within it.’ ibid

Provided circumstances are not entirely destructive they can evoke from us strengths, values, and dedication to common purpose we may not have otherwise known lay within, urgently quickened to life by Adversity. Papa-Stork’s righteous indignation sets alight a feeling of absolute commitment to Princess Jasmina, of faithfullness to the truth, something of ultimate importance that normally lay outside his usual daily concerns suddenly bursting in…

So if you are ever disposed to write yourself an enemies list, you might like to consider the possibility that it could assume a life of its own, grow by itself, that folk may elect to add their own names, and that this shared spirit of defiance creates the very bipartisan solidarity required to end the tyranny of its author.

 

For the love of an old dog.

What does it mean to be truly human? One answer is that a person’s humanity might be measured by their capacity to empathically connect with another.

”You can judge a society by how they treat their weakest.” Ghandi.

There is no ‘I’ without a ‘thou’. For as long as the other is an ‘it’, then so are we.

‘Whatsoever you do unto the least of my brothers, you do unto me.’  Matt 25;40.

So governmental ruling that animals don’t have feelings has an effect much wider and greater than the already sorry state of animal welfare. Downgrading the sentience of any Other means we lose more than our connection to and care for them. We erode our own internal cohesion as well.  The capacity for reflection is diminished. Inner dialogue’s pathways become overgrown.

When we diminish the Other we become less able to enjoy and be emotionally nourished by them. We become less able to respond, to be responsible. We become less affected by loss. It too is degraded from the noble Grief of Bonds Broken to corrective medication for anxiety and depression.

Our disconnection from the plight of the Other might seem like respite from concern but in the fullness of time it brings poetic justice in it’s wake….,

‘…cessation of interest in the outside world, loss of the capacity to love, inhibition of activity and a lowering of self regard that finds utterance in self reproaches and self revilings..’ S. Freud.

This reduced capacity for both joy and sorrow is endemic in our culture, yet easily evades detection since such whittling away at the Principle of Relatedness in a world already enthralled to macho Gods that won’t talk to or acknowledge one another is as difficult to spot as a black cat in a dark room.

One of the reasons we can get so close to animals is that language is often garnish to tone and gesture, where the main body of communication resides, in which many creatures are already fluent, notwithstanding the human capacity to identify with species that can personify both our instinctuality and higher wisdom, sometimes bringing extraordinary benefits to the humans in the frame.

Clinical studies show that this ‘participation mystique’, which allows shared identity whilst honoring separation, alleviates depression and the autistic encapsulation suffered by isolated consciousness. Churchill described the depression he struggled with as his ‘black dog.’ Had he a black dog at his side he might not have had to have it within.

My old dog Noyle had a most unusual gift. He would go and sit quietly next to anyone who was emotionally upset. He was quite unobtrusive in his attention and would sit at an angle so as not to be impolite, though once in a while would catch your eye to let you know he was still there. And so all of a person’s feelings could be safely expressed. It was as though he just soaked them all up. So anger never lingered, hurt got directly attended, sadness was just allowed and moods dispelled.

Noyle’s magic went further. When my son was twelve he was taken away by authorities whose expert opinion it was that a man could not raise a child. He was eventually returned but in the meanwhile I was emotionally devastated by the loss of my son whom I’d raised single handed since he was a baby.

One night I was weeping in bed. Noyle was sat beside me holding his habitual vigil for anyone in pain. All of a sudden it seemed that a voice rose up in the darkness, not from Noyle himself exactly, but from the space between us, some well pool of Being that contained us both,..

‘you hurt because you love the young master so much..’

I nodded..

‘if the pain could be taken away by lessening the love would you accept that?’

I shook my head, no.

‘then embrace your loss. It is the secret face of love.’

Now, ten years later, the boy is a man and the old dog lies dead. I buried my face in his neck for a final time and as I struggled with hot tears I heard a familiar voice in our between…

‘you hurt because you loved the old dog so much…’

 

 

The Essene Gospel of Peace.

In 1928, Edmond Szekely, published a translation of a manuscript, ostensibly discovered in the Secret Archives of the Vatican, ‘The Essene Gospel of Peace.’ The Vatican says that Mr Sezeley has never been privileged with such intimate access to their Room of Wicked Books and detractors point to the fact that the original Aramaic manuscript has never been seen, so many dismiss Szekely as a fake.

But…

apocryphal texts have always had aspersions cast upon them. They are always illegitimate as far as the Establishment is concerned, yet somehow also sufficiently dangerous enough to it at the same time such that having a copy could get you killed.

Another prolific writer from a little later, Tuesday Lobsang Rampa, was also accused of fraud. His first book, ‘The Third Eye’, purported to be an account of growing up in a monastery in Tibet. After massive sales, private detectives discovered he was Cyril Hoskin, the son of a Devon Plumber living in a basement flat in Pimlico, London.

Rampa denied none of this when confronted with ‘the facts’. He explained that he had hit his head falling out of a tree whilst trying to photograph an owl and that whilst summarily indisposed had been visited in a vision by the spirit of a lost Tibetan monk who’d asked him for corporeal refuge. So, he awoke as Tuesday Lobsang Rampa and thereafter not only dressed in Tibetan style but wrote dozens of books on Tibetan life and mystical practices, including one that was dictated to him by his cat, Mrs Fifi Greywhiskers.

Mad, right?

When I first came across the works of Rampa and had no idea of the controversy that raged as to his ‘legitimacy’, I decided to practice one of his mystical techniques, astral travel. I was sixteen. One of his books had just fallen into my lap and I read it avidly, fascinated by a culture, a way of experiencing life, so different from mine, intrigued by the author’s connection to magical realms and so one night, instead of just reading about it, I decided to try it.

My apprentice’s efforts seemed combined with dream and next morning I woke  having remembered only something vague from the evening before, I had been floating down a road in the next town following a friend and his sister who turned into the gate of their new house, which I had not yet visited, and went inside. I noticed the family car had been in an accident and the offside rear door was all dented in. I soon forgot all about it.

A week later I went to visit that same friend in his new house. As soon as I saw the street I remembered the ‘dream’. Even the filigree work on the gate was correct. I rang the door bell and my friend answered saying I looked as white as a ghost. I staggered in and told him the story which he listened to carefully until I mentioned the dented car. ‘That’s the only bit that hasn’t happened,’ he said. Then his father arrived, having just been involved in an accident during which the offside rear door was bashed in.

Maybe Tuesday was really some deep part of Cyril but maybe that didn’t matter. Somehow, Tuesday spoke through Cyril in a way that was not only convincing but verifiable. Or are we to believe that folk stopped channeling the Divine after Jesus’ time just because the Church didn’t like it?

Perhaps the ‘Essene Gospel of Peace’, whilst similarly compromised as to its provenance, might still be considered of equal value as any other piece written out of divine inspiration. St Augustine was once asked how to tell the difference between god and the devil given that the latter often masqueraded as the former.’ By the taste in the back of your mouth,’ he replied. Suck it and see.

So let’s approach the Essene Gospel of Peace with the thought that its authorship is of secondary consideration to its content and that even if Szekely penned it himself, it might be just as worthy a revelation, as significant a teaching as any Dead Sea Scroll transcribed by similarly devoted folk separated from us only by time and geography. It was certainly attacked as much.

At the beginning of the Book we find afflicted souls pressing Jesus to relieve them of their suffering and dis-ease. Jesus responds by directing them straight to the Great Mother.

‘Happy are you that hunger for the truth for I will satisfy you with the bread of Wisdom..and lead you into the kingdom of the Mother’s angels where the power of Satan cannot enter.” page nine

When the gathered crowd press him to reveal the whereabouts of the Mother’s kingdom he replies,

She is in you and you in Her. Keep therefor her laws… Unless you follow the laws of the Mother you cannot escape death. None but she heals you.” page 10

”What are these laws?” they ask. ”We already do what Moses said.”

You already know Her laws, he replies….

”they are written in your heart and in your blood,..wherefor do you study dead scriptures that are the works of the hands of men? page 13.

It is said that when chief Sitting Bull was told the white God’s Commandments he replied, ‘you need to be told these things?’

The law of the Mother is the Principle of Relatedness. We are afflicted with sin and its suffering to the extent that we are separated from ourselves and from one another, to the extent we have missed the mark, ignored what we know in our marrow and gut.

Redemption is therefor to be found not in being good but in being connected, out of which goodness flows. Jesus goes on to point out that the prodigal son is redeemed not by giving up his vice but by being connected to and valuing his father. His sin was not so much his wayward life since this was merely the symptom of a deeper malaise. It was his separation from what he knew in his bones, the law of the Mother.

Satan then, is not really the Great Tempter after all. Temptation is simply the natural outcome of turning away from what you know to be true.

Jesus then gets up to leave but suggests before he goes that the crowd realign themselves with the Great Mother by deliberate encounter with her Angels of Air, Water and Sunshine, ritual acts of purification to at-one with Her.

The motley crew of beggars and invalids make their way to a stream where they ritually bathe. All manner of devilish excrescences are endured, including terrible farts..

‘many belched stinking gases from their bowels, like the breath of devils. And their stench became so great that none could bear it.”

To cast out a devil is to be conscious of something that has previously been on silent running, something with which you have been unconsciously identified, something that stinks, disconnection from Life.

For some, the worst afflicted, the rituals of the three Angels do not work and when Jesus returns these few beg him for further intervention…

‘Master, we are grievously tormented by pain; tell us what to do.’

For these, Jesus suggests a ritual to the Angel of the Earth, they must sink themselves into the physical embrace of the Great Mother to overcome the separation that has befallen them.

The worst of the bunch, his body as parched as a skeleton and skin yellow as a falling leaf  for whom even this is not sufficient cries out…

‘Master have pity upon me, I know that you can straightway cast Satan from me..’

but Jesus rebukes him,

”Satan torments you because you do not pay to him his tribute. You do not feed him. You torment Satan with hunger and so in his anger he torments you also..page 32

Jesus is reminding this man that you have to have a relationship with the shadow if you are to get it off your back. His insistence on being a victim of fate reinforces his suffering, exacerbates separation.

Jesus makes a special concoction of Ewe’s milk enfused with the Mother’s Angels of Water, Air, Sunshine and Earth, the vapour (spirit) of which the afflicted man must breathe.

That does the job.

The crowd heap praise on him to which he replies,

‘Wisdom and Power can only come from the love of God, therefore love your Heavenly Father and Earthly Mother with all your heart…

Nothing in there about fearing the lord or having to obey anything. No wonder the Church had it in for Szekely, though technically, by 1923, the Inquisition had probably been reduced in executive power from thumbscrews and burning at the stake to a written complaint addressed to his Mum.

He might never have been to the Vatican. He might even have told some pork pies. The irony is that at the same time, Carl Jung was developing his depth psychology on the need for modernity to acknowledge its roots in the archetypal feminine, on the neuroses suffered as a result of separation from the Unconscious let alone its contents and the need to re-member, to reconnect with, to relate to, Cthonic powers.

‘Donkey Skin’, the Enstupiding.

There is a variant on the Cinderella story, one of hundreds, called, ‘Donkey Skin’, which has some details in it missing from the popular version, details that might help us appreciate why it’s so difficult to get to the Ball with even the wiliest Fairy God Mother..

Suppressed details are always the juicy bit of the story, like the reporter’s question to Putin at the Helsinki summit, ‘Did you want Trump to win and did you help him?,’ to which the reply was, ‘Yes I did, yes, I did,’ being artfully airbrushed from the White House transcript of that hallowed meeting…

but I digress…

In the story of Donkey Skin, the heroine has to work as a swine herd and servant girl, taking on menial disguise in flight from a strange madness that has gripped her father, the king.

The Queen has just died of a mysterious illness and you might imagine that the king is smitten with grief. It certainly appears so. In his delusional state the despairing king imagines his daughter to be his next bride and so she is forced to flee, aided by the obligatory Fairy God Mother who knows to get out when craftiness fails, camoflaged in a donkey skin flayed by order of the king himself..

who now clearly has issues.

A Prince of a neighboring kingdom spies Donkeyskin one day and falls in love with her so deeply he collapses. In his delirium he shouts out that only a loaf of bread baked by the servant girl will save him. A ring lost in the dough gives away her true identity and everyone gets to win including her father, the king, whose madness is spontaneously lifted and his claim over her renounced when he first sees her as a bride…….

So not only does the Princess manage to escape the clutches of her mad father but he himself is redeemed by testifying to the fact of her separate destiny.

The king’s madness and it’s cure seem apropos in these days of deliberate nonsense and obfuscation. So how does the king’s madness unfold and what might we learn from the way it is resolved?

The king goes mad in stages. First there is the death of his Queen and you might suppose the madness of a broken heart but upon forensic inspection we see that though, ”the king’s happiness was shattered by the sudden illness of his dear wife,’… it was because, ‘she was so many years younger than himself that the idea she might die before him came as a great shock.”

It was not her death but the idea of it that drove him mad. Not her loss but that she had a destiny other than the bit part in his drama for which he had reserved her. His refusal to face her mortality is a denial of her humanity, in itself a form of ‘killing off’ the Other.

Rather than face the limits of his Narcissistic Omnipotence he collapses under the strain of denial, extending his treatment of others as stock to everyone else including his daughter who he now relates to as his date.

When the Princess runs to her FGM asking what the hell she can do, she advises her to ask the king for a dress made of the sky.

‘He won’t be able to do it and will have to let you go…’

But he somehow manages it so she suggests asking for a dress made of the Sun which she supposed would be trickier and it did indeed take death threats and staying up all night for several unhappy jewellers and gold smiths but by morning it was made.

The king’s madness increases as he doubles down. His incestuous desires join forces with out-of-this-world idealization of his daughter who he’s happy to experience as cosmic elemental force. But his depersonalization of her both as both sexual object and as goddess incarnate is then cemented by his response to her third and final attempt to appeal to whatever vestige of Relatedness remains in the old king by asking for the hide of his donkey which she’s sure he must refuse since he cherished the little donkey ‘above all his other possessions,’ thinking that he would never have the heart to kill his beloved pet and so she would be free…

But the skin is summarily delivered to her door and so she knows the king’s madness is complete, that the Other really doesn’t exist for him anymore. She can only escape, camoflaged by the skin, living out the arrogant king’s inferiority for him as Swineherd and Cinders.

Many a child is compelled to forgo their own destinies for the sake of an unstable parent who ‘knows best’ and overly steers their child in the name of ‘helping’. Such involvement has an incestuous quality because the unique destiny of the other, their person-hood, has been sacrificed in the process with the conviction that they shouldn’t trust their own thoughts and feelings.

Its a form of dumbing kids down that is not only mad but maddening. Poor Donkey Skin is made to feel that it is she who is the crazy one in the equation. Such enstupiding of others is easily done. If you treat people like donkeys they will soon bray, preferring to bend themselves out of shape than be incongruent with expectation.

So the danger is not just that the king is mad and can’t see what is in front of him but that the Princess feels it’s her fault and that she couldn’t think up something clever enough to keep her father’s hands off her and fool him into letting her go. So she begins to feel like a stupid donkey rather than realize she has been dumped on.

This process of enstupiding, so necessary to centralised power, is way more advanced than you might think. Of course there are the risible excesses of political correctness that compel shops to mark the Harry Potter broomstick on sale at Halloween with the disclaimer, ‘Does not actually fly,’ and sell salt with a serving suggestion….

But I only realized just how total we have become identified with our donkeyskins when I noticed today, for the first time ever and for your convenience, instructions on a toilet roll.

Apparently it’s a five stage process for which the kind manufacturers have provided a step by step approach to polishing your Nipsy, complete with diagrams, pointing arrows, when to wipe and when to pat, just in case you have become so addled with disinformation that you can’t recall, since last you crapped..

how to wipe your own arse.

Huzzah for the beacon of hope that is our proud civilization.

I suppose the thing is that if you are going to lie big, so big that not only did you not mean what you said,…

but that you actually meant the opposite of what you said,..and want us to take comfort in your being 180* out of whack

and then preface all this by saying that you hoped it would be perfectly obvious to everyone by now that you meant the absolute opposite of the tainted shite already pouring forth from your foul gob,…

then you need someone dumb enough to believe it and if they do not exist then they must be created. And where better to start than with the assumption that people are so out of touch with themselves that they need bathroom advice widely mastered by the average four year old.