On Smiting

The earnest conversation about whether god exists or not seems to ride roughshod over the more cogent point which is that he is a certifiable psycho with serious bonding issues.

Do wot?

er, just wondering…  about the smiting of your bride. You don’t seem to be happy with your new choice…

Yeh, she doesn’t do it for me. I tried. Really. I been patient. Cannot fault me dere.

You’re dissappointed and angry.

Ja man.

How long were you separated from  …..


from your…er..ex before you got together with your new bride?

Not long.

Three quaters of a page in Revelations actually.

I don’t know. I said, not long.

Do you think er,… perhaps you didn’t have an epoch or two to you know, find yourself again, work through some of the issues, learn from the experience?

Learn? I know all..

Of course, oh mighty one.. its just that maybe your disappointment is in the hastiness of your re-marriage after, the er thing that NEVER HAPPENED WITH YOU KNOW WHO, WHO MUSTNT BE, YOU KNOW, NAMED..ahem

Speak plainly or be smote!

Yes, its exactly this smitting thing I’d like to ask about, oh great one, who is so..great. You’re clearly, well, upset about and perhaps regreting your decision. It stands to reason oh munificent and resplendent lord of hosts, that if you beat your wife then she’s not the one for you and that rather than your wife being unfaithful it is your own secretly harboured wish to be in the arms of another? The loss of who’s embrace actually be such a torture as to unleash…


Exactly, the smiting. Now you have been a bit over the top haven’t you?


The thresher’s at ………..didn’t really deserve to have their house burned down for using iron threshing rods did they?


The iron rods were somehow… offensive to you?


And Lot’s wife, who doesnt even get a name…

Well it was just the one.  I let the others go. Am I not infinite in my mercy? Usually I take them all, sheep goats the lot. Hey Lot . Geddit?

It? You killed someone…?

Yeh, Lot’s wife.

But, how…why?

Well , she disobeyed me, mon..


by looking at her burning home with all her stuff in flames, mon.

You burned her home..

Yeah, bitch.I burned it. Burned it right down, mudderfukka. Down to the ground, mon. They went down in that town. Know what I’m sayin’?

But why?

Mixing it up with other gods, mon.

Let me understand, you burned down her house as a way of appealing to her devotion and then killed her with an ironic twist for displaying the least of all human gestures conveying loss of something dear to her heart?

I turned her to salt, mon..Bamm!

er, okaaay,,, why the salt. I mean what’s that about?

Are you mixing it up with me, mon? Boooyakasha! Walk on before I’m beat you.

No,.. er, sorry,, i just wondered, just interested in your divine inventiveness and curious about what might motivate, I mean inform, no,…. what you are trying to teach your faithless children, oh lord, by your great and mystical symbolism, you know, of the salt.

Its just salt, innit? you want me to explain when I already show?

But this is the problem, oh great and mighty one.


Its not simply that your people feel unheard and, well frankly treated very badly but we’re all a bit concerned that you don’t seem to be thinking through your own great wisdom either.. Oh great one, which is maybe why things went so pear shaped with Hokmah back in the day….


And then you did that most human rebound thing, got all cranky very quickly, you know… nudge nudge, new woman not quite what the old one used to do for you and boom, centuries of smitting.

They strayed from the path..

No, oh lord, we were never on the path, could never live up to …Her, no matter how she cheesed you off…and giving people the freedom to choose and then smitting them if they don’t choose you, is not really a choice is it?

Don’fugwidme mudderfukka.

But I’m worried and seriously anxious oh great one. You’ve lost Relatedness in more ways than one.


Sorry its just that the whole salt thing is still bothering me. I mean, was there a choice in the matter? Could it have been stone? Or even different types of stone. You carry quite a range, you know. Or maybe, you could have turned her into a tree, you know, a bit of creativity, poetic justice and all that. After all, in punishment for her loving your mother whose groves were sacred..


Yeh, sorry, though tiresome and getting tired now.

I’m telling you, I will smite you.

Yes,yes, of course, smiting,, your powerfully…scary…  smiting.


Here, Smiting!

Do you wanna play fetch, boy?

Fetch, Smiting!

Fetch the people.


Spit, Smiting. Spit the people, Smiting.

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Psychotherapist/writer/artist/ author of, 'Going Mad to Stay Sane', a psychology of self-destructiveness, about to come into its third edition. Soon to be printed for the first time, 'Abundant Delicious.. the Secret and the Mystery', described by activist Satish Kumar as, ' A Tao of the Soul'. This book documents the archetypal country through which the process of individuation occurs and looks at the trials and tribulations we might expect on the way. In the meantime..... Narcissisim is the issue of our age. This blog looks at how it operates, how it can damage and how we may still fruit despite it.

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