The Green-eyed God

If you’ve ever tried confronting narcissism you know your gonna lose.  Those walls are high and the Great Mother’s bones are built into them. Confrontation immediatly becomes a verbal wrestling match with the Marquis of Queensbury firmly gagged and bound  in a corner. Or, the ground under your feet suddenly disappears and you’re now discussing some completely unrelated issue without knowing how you got there except that you will lose this one as well.

And if what you’re wanting to air is the issue of jealousy, the Marquis will be bundled out in a rolled up carpet while the barometric decompression in your lungs anticipates a variation of the mesmeric deluge, ‘yeah, but no, but’.

It will then either be flatly denied with a hint of, ‘ what’s your problem?’ Or turned back on you, ‘this is obviously  your stuff.’ Or, condescended and humiliated, ‘did you get that out of a lucky packet?’ Or the ante is simply upped with ,’you don’t love me.’ Your role is now reduced to useless reassurance of the one who, moments ago, was trying to scratch your eyes out.

So, what kind of progress do you think might be made trying to confront God over his jealousy?

Zero

So, we won’t even try, hey?

no point, mon.

Despite the explicit mention of ‘other Gods’.

Can’t go there, mon.

Despite the injunction, sorry, command not to covet..

..yeh, but no but…

…and whooping his bride down the centuries for all kinds of imagined shenanigins..

mus’ be you done sumfink.

Methinks Yahweh protesteth tooo much..

Him got someone on the side…..himself…?

Or wishes he did. His current bride is clearly not up to the mark which begs the question of who set the bar.

She-who-cannot-be-nam..

DONT SPEAK HELUFYTDCGVNBMN..

yep, God’s constant paranoia about our unfaithfulness is more than the tacit acknowledgement of an unnameable…….

HGJH<FVH<JNVBMNVB

…….co-respondent, it is a projection of his own desire for she-who-no-one talks-abo…

HGFHG.

Him lust for him old flame.

Yep, Yahweh’s ‘leavings’ in the washpot of Moab, are primarily hormonal.

Moab?

Your neighbourhood.

Is that why the West is preoccupied with sex an’ bling?

Worse, matey, where else could the fulcrum of god’s shadow be brought to bear but on our own souls? Judgement day is small potatoes next to the fact that we are already up to our ears in God mank.

So, we sloshing about in God’s shadow…

No, God’s shadow is sloshing about in us.

Like we was His host.

Tapeworm styley. Him angry.. but need us..to be angry at.. No end to that one, mon.

Yeh its loopy.

Loopy lou.

Interesting word, loopy.. We all know it means,’crazy’, but the crazy is not about what you are doing, but that you are doing it blindly and going round in circles. The problem is the looping and not really a function of the territory through which you might be passing at the time.

Yeahhh…and…

So , what’s loopy here begins with having to fail in our endevour, in bending to divine sadism, hoping it will all go unnoticed. God uses us for His washpot so that he comes up all sparkly and restored…

But now we full of …. ‘leavings’ and bits of beard…

Yes, we have attributed to us, and identify with, a piece of divine shadow…

we gon feel bad..

Well, icky, yes, but more to the point, we just can’t do it. It’s all too much. We start going mad in the catch 22 of eternal failure either to contain God’s projection or, trying bravely, but looking like pervy curbcrawlers in the process.

So where is the loop?

I’m coming to that. Carrying god’s shadow is a bit of a buzz. Its like being juiced up on some fantastic high octane fuel, the cheif symptom of which is that we fall into the delusion that we don’t need one another anymore and are separate from Nature.

Loop, make the loop…

So that’s a sin, against ourselves and one another..

loop, loop…

for which we should indeed, feel bad…

guilt can be good..okay..

And gives God a hook to hang his washpot on. We masochistically buy into his game, bewailing the smiting, lack of favour and accusations of infidelity in order to cover up for the fact that we are getting off on the heady cocktail of god’s mank water.

And being special.

And there’s the loop, you are special but failed. You can be sorry all you want. You’re still wrong and bad. For as long as we carry god’s imperfections his jealousy will be justified. But his love for us depends upon us being His Moab. No win.

That ain’t right, mon.

And what happens when a child is put in a no win situation?

Him start trashin’ de place.

Loopy Lou.

Published by

andywhite

Psychotherapist/writer/artist/ author of, ‘Going Mad to Stay Sane’, a psychology of self-destructiveness, about to come into its third edition.

Soon to be printed for the first time, ‘Abundant Delicious.. the Secret and the Mystery’, described by activist Satish Kumar as, ‘ A Tao of the Soul’. This book documents the archetypal country through which the process of individuation occurs and looks at the trials and tribulations we might expect on the way.

In the meantime…..
Narcissisim is the issue of our age.
This blog looks at how it operates, how it can damage and how we may still fruit despite it.

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